I have spent much more time than usual on the computer these last months. I am working on getting off grid and setting up a trailer homestead. The man doing all the work only wants to communicate by email.  I do not do well w/ that kink of communication and have a hard enought time coping over the phone or in person, but this.  The whole thing got put on hold for some time, which was devestating, but now is going forward as it should be.  But I am not. I should be estatic, but I am at the low of bottoms, I am semi OK on and off physically: not well enough to do much but can be up and around a little.

I spend time on the computer and then all I can do is cry for hours and lay in bed. The more I deal w/ the emails the worse I get. I have saught help and I was told I need to try to get used to the computer more. Those in my life disagree and say they are young but still can't take the "text" world.  For years people have told me they like my personality better when I stay away from the computer. When I am on a lot people start accusing me of "drugging" but I have not. I sure do act like I have been.  I get nervous and wired. I really thought that I have been too damaged from loosing my life's work on a computer in 07, and after returning back to work I was still very off.  That's wheat I thought till I saw this last night:

http://www.offthegridnews.com/alternative-health/7-ways-electronics-quietly-harm-our-mental-health/comment-page-1/#comment-2062089

I wonder if it's not just another facet of ES.  After reading this I almost sent my laptop flying out the front door, but I rely on it too much.  I spent the whole night w/ my usual line of nighmares about computers that I've had since 1998. Woke up crying again. Finally got up this evening in time enough to order my batteries and back on and back in tears. I never get the same symptoms and so many different ones. But I wonder does anyone else get like this?  I guess if you do too much you would have pulled the plug and not be here.  I may after I move.

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